1. If you are invited to someone’s home or just stopping by for sweet’s, bring SOMETHING!! A soda (pop), a dessert, small side dish,bottle of wine, food stamps,SOMETHING! Don’t show up empty handed. More than likely not bringing anything will get you uninvited next year or talked about when you leave.I’m Just Saying!
2. Don’t Bring 10 extra, uninvited people with you if you are invited over someone’s house.Bringing a significant other or a friend is cool, but not all of your homies, jumpoffs, your whole crew and sidechicks.
3. This one burns my soul. DO NOT EVER show up over somebody’s house with your own tupper ware or aluminum foil. Especially, if you didn’t bring something. If you do, bring some DRANK or food its pretty tacky to take it when you leave too!
4. If you are bringing your whole HOUSEHOLD over to someone’s home for dinner, bring more than a little dish of potato salad. You need to bring a main dish (meat, etc) and a side dish AND at least one beverage!
5. If you are invited somewhere and a particular dish is really good, its ok, go back for 2nds.BUT 3rds, 4ths, and 5ths is just pure FATNESS!
6. Teach your little bad kids table manners before taking them over somebody’s house. No loud burping or other body noises, EXCUSE yourself from the table, no over eating, elbows off the table, do not eat like a barbarian, and eat with a fork or spoon, not your hands!!
7. Be Easy with the Alcohol. If you KNOW your family members are already emotionally unstable, not wired right, and have issues with alcohol. Dont HAVE IT! DONT EVEN GO THERE! If you must, have some wine or a couple wine coolers or count on all your ish being torn up and the police showing up! You know how ya’ll are!
8. If you CANT COOK!! Don’t try it at the Holiday’s! Bring decorations, or drinks, or a store bought dessert.Don’t you dare try a crucial dish like a turkey, or potato salad, or macaroni and cheese. DONT DO IT! You will be talked about!
9. Last but not least, leave all controversial family topics for the next day or just for another time. Don’t use holiday family gatherings to ask your momma who your real daddy is, to ask your cousin why she’s a hoe, don’t ask Ray Ray if he was the one who robbed the gas station the other day, don’t bring up money or remind somebody they owe you money,or to tell your auntie that uncle rufus is actually seeing Mrs. Ethel from around the corner on the low. Leave it alone.
Bonus: if you are at someone’s home all day, help clean up!
